Yoga Mat

Offer: worn out yoga mat
I have an old yoga mat that is really no good for yoga. It has no stickiness to it so you end up sliding all over the place. I thought it may make a good pet bed if you cut it in half or maybe you could find some other use for it. It's still soft and it's purple.

Let’s do yoga, her friend said. It’ll be fun, was the main selling point.

No thanks, she said. She was never one for exercise anyway. So that’s when her friend found a second selling point. Your boyfriend will love it, she said. I mean, yoga increases your flexibility, and when your man hears about that, your sex life is going to go through the roof. So, you in?

Sure, she said, realizing her relationship was failing and a few new moves might save it. Sure, she echoed, I’m in.

The next day she went to the store to buy a yoga mat. Purple, she thought as she looked at the colors. I’ll feel regal on purple.

That Saturday morning, she found herself at yoga. The moves were supposed to represent animals, but there were no way animals moved like that. Truth be told, there was no way she could move like that.

Stretch a little more; reach, the teacher would say.

When do we get to just inhale, lie on your back, and take a nap, she asked her friend.

No talking, the teacher barked as she stretched her body like a contortionist.

I can’t do that, she thought, with this cheap mat.

Of course it was the mat, not her.

After class, her body felt awful. Parts of her body she never knew existed hurt.

How’d you like yoga, her friend asked.

That wasn’t yoga, she said. That was torture.

How’d you like torture then, her friend asked.

She took her yoga mat and held it over the garbage. I liked it enough, she said, that I’m never going back.

Don’t throw that out, her friend said, grabbing the mat. Next week will be better.

It wasn’t.